Beauty vs. Potency

It seems to me that so much of our society celebrates the beautiful-pageants, commercials, run-ways, magazine covers. Isn’t it funny how somewhere along the way-what is beautiful was decided upon and elevated? How many billions of dollars have gone into products and procedures to try to keep us young and beautiful? 

I remember when I student-taught in East Hampton Middle School and we read a story in a literature anthology. It was the story of a beautiful young girl-whose godmother I believe - cast a spell on her so that she, for a certain amount of time-would not appear physically beautiful-she didn’t want the value of her goddaughter’s life to depend on just her looks. She wanted to be sure that her goddaughter would develop all of the other attributes of a fine human being- her strength, compassion, resilience, inner beauty. Throughout her young life she built her character and eventually found someone to love for exactly who she was on the inside. The moment she found that love-her original beauty was restored. 

I’m not sure why, but that story-and please forgive my vague and inaccurate memory-has stayed with me for years. I always thought it was so clever a way for all of us to focus on what is truly important in life. Yes, everyone is beautiful in their own way-but this story was about navigating around physical beauty. I imagine that looks might be where an initial attraction is made-but it is really a person’s potency that creates the full human being and human experience. In definition Potency is the power and influence that a person, action, or idea has to affect or change people's lives, feelings, or beliefs. For me, potency can be a personality trait - a person who is self-actualized, someone who knows themselves, someone who lives life with passion and zest.

So how does one create potency? Where does it come from? I think it is an inner core of strength in knowing who you are and what you believe in. It comes from not being afraid to be your own authentic self-not kowtowing to those around you. It is about developing your talents, your wisdom, your interests. It’s about knowing what you love and spending more of your time doing it. It’s about using your potential to become the most interesting, informed, loving, creative person you can be.

When all the layers of outer beauty are peeled away, it’s our potency that remains. The dynamic self that lives inside and spills out into the world.  As age wears away at us-at our eyes and skin and hair-when pounds start to gather -as our physical being seems almost like a stranger in the mirror-we cherish the days lived, the character built, the soul of who we have become. That is life’s most powerful ingredient- our potency.