Stay in Your Lane — Nancy Remkus

There was a timely comic on social media that showed a drawing of Santa, a turkey and a jack-o-lantern in a race on a running track, each vying for a prominent position, and precariously crossing over each other’s lane-and the caption read, “stay in your lane”. We have all witnessed the clash of holidays-Valentine’s Day goods showing up in stores before Christmas- Easter before Valentine’s Day -Halloween in midsummer. And now when I see this clash of holidays I laugh and say, “stay in your lane”! I’ve wondered, is it all marketing or is there something in the human heart that wants to look forward…… to celebrating…..something?

Back when I was a youngster, the sight of Santa Claus at the end of the Macy’s Day parade seemed incongruous – what was Santa doing out and about already? It’s only November! And now for some crazy reason, it seems like he’s almost a little late. Had I put on Christmas music before December 1st my family would have checked my vital signs but now mid-November seems right on time. I’ve seen friends and neighbors already putting up their trees right after Halloween and I keep thinking-‘stay in your lane’. I would like the grand and glorious Christmas season to come right on time, but I guess there’s no harm in being a bit early.

I begin to wonder, what is our hurry, why do we all want Christmas to come so soon? And I think perhaps it’s all about hope. We want to capture that magic of Christmas- the lights, the music, the joy and hold onto it for as long as we can. We want something to shift the monotony of every day out of the ‘every day ‘of life- we want to haul those boxes from the attic and be part of the memories held onto through the years. Maybe we’re in a hurry in this challenging world, to make the joy of Christmas last just a little bit longer. And that is the beauty of life-there is no right or wrong-you get to sketch your own timeline- paint your own joy- create your own traditions.

One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions, when we wobble just a little bit out of our ‘lanes’- is when everyone in my family shows up, everywhere, on Thanksgiving wearing their Christmas socks. It is the sign of our official start of the Christmas season. And if anyone should be visiting for the holiday, there would be a pair of new Christmas socks waiting for them on their nightstand. For many years it was forbidden to remind people to wear their socks and everyone had to count on their own prowess -but in recent years we’ve lightened those rules just a little bit.

After cinnamon buns and Santa’s arrival at the end of the parade, some Thanksgiving mornings would find us at the park, in our Christmas socks, for a kickball game. Teams were picked from a hat – the Cranberries versus the Stuffing, or the Turkeys versus the Pumpkin Pies. Then home to catch the end of the dog show. At home by the fire each year the ‘Rockefeller Christmas Tree’ jigsaw puzzle is on the coffee table and we gather in shifts to complete it that day.. Some pieces still have the teeth marks from our dogs after a piece or two had gone astray.

After dinner when we’re all as stuffed as the turkey-and the dependable family clean-up crew is just about finished, we all gather in the living room for a game of Charades or Scattegories. We laugh and yawn as the tryptophan settles in. I can’t help but to look around the room and realize how truly blessed I am. These traditions have been crafted together throughout our lifetimes and are part of the glue that helps hold us together.

Any year may be a good year to start new traditions. Things change, life is fluid and some years people may head in their own directions- a cruise, a trip north to the snow, a visit to the in-laws or the out of state kids. But it’s good to know year to year that we have these traditions to come home to.

My endless hope is that we will all be here to celebrate together again next year. I send up a prayer of gratitude and try my best to live into the fact that - for this year- in this moment, in whatever lies before us- that we will look back on these days as they indeed will hopefully become for each of us- ‘the good old days’. And each of us can decide whether or not we want to ‘stay in our lane’.