Say Yes More Often!

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When my daughter was born, a dear friend gave me a framed poster of inspirational parental advice. It began with, “Say yes more often.” Twenty-six years later that line continues to echo in my heart. 

 At first it I thought it meant, say ‘yes’ to trips to the park, ice cream cones, one more story before bed-things that brought momentary joy. Then I realized it extended to say ‘yes’ to wearing stripes with polka dots, blacklight posters, new hairdos-things that worked to shape identity. Years passed with much practice and ‘yes’ began to extend to college selection, career paths, international travel - things that exercised independence and individuality. 

 During this past year of the pandemic I have learned that I now need to practice saying ‘yes’ to the world more often. I tend to lean on the words ‘no, thank you’ quite a bit. 

 “Would you like to go out for dinner?”  

‘No, thank you.’

“Would you like to go up island shopping?”

“No, thank you.”

“Would you like to go on vacation?”

“No, thank you.”

 I have created and sustained a very solitary lifestyle-feeling as if I was clearly focusing on the journey within. Certainly, I’ve lost count of the number of ‘no, thank yous’ I’ve uttered even before any sign of the pandemic. But this time of restricted assembly and isolation has reminded me that life is short and I need to say, ‘yes, more often’! Yes to picnics on the beach, yes to sunsets, yes to dinner with friends. Yes to weekend getaways, yes to sledding, snow shoeing, ice-skating-yes to hikes and bike rides and early morning walks, yes to dinners outdoors, yes to concerts, movies, live performances. Yes to day trips into the city. Yes to kayaking, yes, yes, yes to life!

 How many more sunsets, waterfalls, orange pansies will I see? How many months and years will all of my family and friends be able to gather? Will I ever get to see the far-off places I dream of - Antarctica, Iceland, our beautiful national parks? 

 Yes, I have decided that when we can do so safely, it will be time for me to say ‘yes, more often’, jump into this miracle of life and live more fully. Simply said, I know that I will continue to enjoy my contemplative, quiet time but I will also live more keenly aware of what we have, our impermanence, and the wonder of life in all of its glory.

Nancy Remkus