How Did She Do It?

I look back at photos of my brothers, sisters and I in our Easter finery and wonder, ‘how did she do it?’ How did my mom manage to run our motel, keep up the house, pay for everything without credit cards, cook meals every day of the year for eight of us (with no ‘take-out’ options in sight), and succeed at dressing us up for Easter- dresses, gloves, hats, pocketbooks, suits, ties, polished shoes. It was nothing short of a miracle.

 The Easter Bunny made its way to our house as well-with six baskets filled with a chocolate bunny, peeps, jelly beans and a special treat under the straw-a ‘Slinky’, a ‘Barrel of Monkeys or a 45-rpm single. Certainly nothing fancy, just simple, heartfelt fun.

 We packed like sardines into a pew at Saint Andrew’s Church and sat elbow to elbow with pride among many of the other Sag Harbor families-also in dresses, gloves, hats, pocketbooks, suits, ties, and polished shoes. Station wagons lined the back-parking lot, the Lyon’s Club egg hunt waiting in the park, and Easter dinner ready to go in the oven. We shared a common bond, a family dance that ran through the holidays, through childhood, through life. And at the helm of those rituals was our mom- family choreographer, fashion consultant, heart tender, executive chef and bottle washer. From sunup far into the night she kept the family running as she would say, like a ‘well-oiled machine.’

 Many of our traditions have faded. Life continues to change in small increments daily until one day we may wake up and realize that so much of what we were accustomed to has disappeared. We treasure some of our family rituals, realizing that life is on a trajectory and we just don’t know where it is headed. How do we hold onto the things that we value? How do we return to those important stops on this circle of life? I believe life moves in a circle for a reason-so we can revisit and celebrate the significant moments along the way - creating meaning, anticipation and tradition in our lives.

 As we rejoice at the emergence of spring, some of us will be at sunrise services, others finishing Passover celebrations, some will be hiding eggs and setting the table for a family dinner. Though our mom is no longer with us, we continue to celebrate with the traditions that she valued. We may not all be in dresses, gloves, hats, pocketbooks, suits, ties, polished shoes but we will welcome resurrection and rebirth, our table will be set and there will be an Easter basket with a chocolate bunny, peeps, jelly beans and a special treat under the straw. 

 I wonder what are some of the traditions that you have held onto?